Senator Murphy Was Lost But Now He is Found, Sort Of
What a creepy feeling I had not too long ago, like passing an old house with ragged curtains fluttering through broken window panes. I would call it a Boo Radley moment, but he was actually a hero. Although Boo stayed in the family house, he kept a sharp eye on everything in his bailiwick and came out to rescue Scott and Jem when Bob Ewell tried to kill them. No, this feeling was more akin to a Bates Motel or Salem’s Lot moment — you’re not really sure what’s about to happen, but you know it’s not good.
Chris Murphy fluttered the curtains recently. He had been missing for a quite a while, but Chris can’t complain that nobody cared. I tried to find him, honest, and so did other people I know. We tried calling, but no one ever answered. Instead of human contact with our representative or his staff, we dropped messages into an answering machine black hole. Maybe the machine is broken or the service is out - somebody really ought to check that — because no one ever responded. You can see why I was beginning to worry about that guy.
So, now that he’s back, what is Senator Murphy up to? Let’s check the internet. Hmmm. He’s really worried about the Ukraine. That’s nice — aren’t we all? Oh, but Chris is ahead of the game. He’s been worried about it since 2019, when he went to visit President Zelenskyy. He said that . . . never mind, let’s skip that. Chris kept changing his story about what happened over there. But he’s definitely worried about the Ukraine now. In fact, he got to worrying several weeks ago. Too bad he didn’t pay attention before the shooting started. Guess the gunfire woke him up. Odd, he seems to sleep through it in D.C.; but that’s another story.
What else is going on with Murphy? Sigh. This is a perfect example of a golden committee rule — and you should already know this, Chris — never leave a meeting to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. If you do, when you come back, you’ll find that you’ve been elected to head a new committee or do some job nobody else wants. And that looks like what happened. Either you came back into the room or the party dragged you back and gave you a big mission: accuse Republicans of spreading misinformation while defending Biden’s energy plan. Wow! Either someone thinks that you are a genius who can support mutually exclusive points in the same argument, or somebody really doesn’t like you. I’d look into that if I were you.
Maybe I’m being too hard on Chris. Although he seems more worried about Ukraine than Connecticut, he does have a great website for us. All the important topics are there, and you can fill out lots of forms. You know how we all love spending time doing that. All those topical forms prove that Chris really cares about what we think, and he even cares about our feelings, as long as we can type. Just think, Chris wants to know about our mental health. There’s a form for that. I imagine that despondent constituents drop the knives from their necks or hurl those pill bottles across the room and get down to serious typing. I hope there is a swooshing sound when typists hit the send button. Surely, that sounds makes desperate people feel so much better.
https://freebeacon.com/national-security/sen-chris-murphy-changes-his-story-on-zelensky-meeting/
