Story Time With Ned

Story Time With Ned, a very short one-act play.

Setting: Connecticut State Capitol, Hartford, Connecticut. February 9, 2022. Governor Lamont is under investigation by the FBI for numerous matters as he prepares to give the state of the state speech.

A well-dressed MC enters stage left and scans the crowd. She taps her earbud and whispers: “No, I don’t see anyone who looks like an FBI agent, but who knows. (Pause to listen.) Tell him that he has to come out.”

MC smiles: “Mr. Courtney. How nice to see you here, sitting so quiet and attentive.”

MC taps earbud and whispers. “Get Senators Blumenthal and Murphy in here. We need a show of party solidarity. (Pause to listen.) Well, if you’ve looked every where, don’t worry about Murphy. (Another pause to listen.) Good idea. And have someone find out if we should offer Beijing Brew chasers with the vodka shots.”

A spotlight suddenly reveals a child’s mobile, which begins to spin and play a xylophone version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

The Democrats quiet and stare. Most of the Republicans continue to murmur. Several of them begin to retch.

MC frowns: “Republicans look under your seats for your airsick bags! If there are any messes, you’ll have to clean them up by yourselves.”

MC taps her earbud, listens a few seconds, and sighs: “Splash some cold water on his face and . . . (Pause to listen.) Just put some concealer around his eyes and push him onstage. He has to face the music sometime.”